I show disappointment when she tells me she’s a v! rg !n. I make it clear that I value fun s 8 x, not v! rg !nity. I state that it’s a “shame” she doesn’t have any experience whatsoever on what I consider to be one of the most enjoyable behaviors that a human can have. Something must be wrong for her to still be a v! rg !n.
I tease her v! rg !nity. I make light of her experience by saying things such as:
“So you don’t know how a pen!s works? It’s not a muscle, you know. :)”
“So what do you do on weekend nights—play with your doll house? :)”
“You’ve lived 20% of your life and haven’t experienced s 8 x? That’s depressing. :)”
Under no circumstance should you convey that her v! rg !nity is a benefit to you, but don’t flat-out insult her either.
I disqualify myself from being the right man to deflower her.Yet at the same time, I will hint that I am a professional de-v! rg !nator who would do a great job. Say the following:
I have some v! rg !n experience and honestly I didn’t like it. The s 8 x will be horrible, there will be a lot of blood [when isn’t there?], and it will hurt you more than anything. You will want to scre am and cry. It’s such a thankless task for men that they should get paid to do it. I would have to be extremely patient and gentle, but I’m too old for that. I don’t think I’m the right guy. Too bad, really, because you’re not an unattractive girl.
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